Michael Krasny writes,
I set out to write a book that would help me discover what I believe. I had come across a quote by the British novelist Julian Barnes — who said, “I don’t believe in God but I miss him.” I didn’t know if I didn’t believe in God. But I did miss him. Him was the invisible father I prayed to every night as a boy and felt certain was watching over me. Him was the one upon whom I believed I could rely in time of need. Him was invisible to me but with full power over me. Him was who I lost as I got older and began filling my mind with content from books by Darwin, Nietzsche and Bertrand Russell. I would love to find him once more, to feel his presence inside me or outside of me — to know he is somewhere out there. I wanted him back. But I was devoid of evidence that he is or ever has been. I plead guilty to being wishy-washy — longing for him and calling on him in fear or crisis and pulling away in rationality and good sense. I could never again know him as I had known him as a child with the faith of my parents and ancestors now lost for my lifespan to the pale cast of intellect.
Posted on Powell’s Books Blog (http://www.powells.com/blog/?p=24774)
Does Krasny’s experience resonate with your own? What might you want to say to him?
One Comment
Kim
When I read,”I don’t believe in God but I miss him” I felt sad. ‘Missing God’ as he puts in reminds me of my own journey of ‘longing’ for God. In different times and places along my journey that ‘longing’ would be deeper and at other times I would manage to put it way back in the corner of my mind because it made me uncomfortable.
I think God knows when we are ‘missing’ Him/Her and finds ways to show up in the cracks and crevices of our armor.