“Rather than confront the suffering that is part of our lives, some of us decide to search for an enemy – someone who has done this to us and who must be stopped.”
(from God in Pain by Barbara Brown Taylor p122)
A simple way to imagine this is when we think “If (fill in the name) had not died then my life would be so much better.” Regarding those who are still living – If you are in an unhappy relationship do you think “If my partner would just (fill in the blank) then I could be more (fill in the blank.)” How is this true for you? In what ways do you avoid your suffering by blaming your pain on someone or something else? How might you live into your full authentic self by feeling your full range of emotions and expressing them in healthy ways instead of allowing them to cause suffering?